Mother refused to let 20-year-old daughter's boyfriend stay in their house during the holidays, daughter gets payback by doing the same years later: ‘My house, my rules’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 24, 2025 5:00 PM EST

When parents decide to enforce rules on their kids, they do it because they want their kids to behave a certain way, and do it out of respect. Those rules should apply solely as a way to set boundaries, like returning home by a certain curfew, or doing the dishes and cleaning their rooms. As long as the kids are living under their parents' roof, it is completely valid that they will have to abide by their rules. 

But something interesting happens when children become adults, especially after they move out. Even though they are still technically someone's child, they are also fully grown people who are capable and should be completely allowed to make their own choices. Yet as soon as they return to their childhood home, no matter what, they are still being treated like children, and are still expected to follow their parents' rules. 

When a parent forces their adult kids to follow rules that don't really make sense anymore, they should expect some backlash, and rightfully so. At least, That's what happened when the mother in this story ruled that her adult daughter couldn't stay in her childhood home with her boyfriend. Keep scrolling to read how the daughter reacted to this disrespectful rule.

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  • "She enforces rules and then expects different treatment for herself"
    via DAPA Images

  • "AITA for telling my mom she can't share a room or a bed with her boyfriend in my home?"

    When I (27f) was in college I met my boyfriend and we moved in together, sharing a place with some friends, after dating for a year. I was 19 when we met and 20 when we
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  • moved in together. We decided from that point onward to take turns spending Christmas with our families. But the first year we were supposed to see mine,
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  • my mom made it clear my boyfriend could not stay and and we weren't sharing a room or a bed in her house. My dad argued in favor of letting it happen since I was an adult and living with him
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  • already but mom said no. She hated that I wouldn't stay at their house then and instead booked an Airbnb. She said I should respect the rules of her house and I told her I was, but I didn't want to tell my
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  • boyfriend to be alone on the holidays and especially when his family had welcomed us together happily. After that I made it clear there would be no coming to visit
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  • like that if I couldn't sleep with my boyfriend. My mom said it wasn't like we were married so she had every right to that rule. Two years ago my dad d: d and for 11 months my mom
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  • has been in a relationship with her boyfriend. They don't live together exactly but according to my brother he was there most nights while he was still there.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10457928192
    via Yana Tikhonova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My mom and brother aren't really talking right now. My brother could hear mom and her boyfriend in bed and he hated it so he moved out. He's also 22 and had wanted to but it gave him the push to
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  • move. My mom was furious and demanded to know why he was leaving out of nowhere and she freaked when my brother told her he was tired of hearing them. It started mom off on him not
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  • being happy for her that she found someone again after dad d d. My mom seems to be missing my brother being around and she told me she misses
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  • having her kids around her so she wanted to visit for a week or two soon. She wanted to bring her boyfriend along and I told her she can't share a room or a bed with him in my home. I told her I do not want
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  • to hear that. She got mad at me and said she's a grown woman and should be allowed her freedom. I told her she was alright denying it to me and I wasn't even
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  • planning to have sin her house. But it sounded like she doesn't care if we hear or not and I'm not dealing with it. I also told her I wasn't going to reward her with sharing with
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  • her boyfriend when she has been so strict with me about it. My mom accused me of acting like a petty child. AITA?
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  • If parents set strict rules for their children, should they be expected to follow the same rules themselves?

    It is all a matter of respect, if you ask me. When my parents came to stay at my place, I would never try to enforce a curfew on them, despite them doing it to me for 18 years. Since they now treat me with respect, and are able to acknowledge that I am a grown adult, there is no reason for me not to do the same. But if they can't respect me as an adult, then I wouldn't respect them either. 

    What goes around comes around, don't you agree?

  • Majestic Daikon_1494 Your house your rules, if she doesnt like it she can rent an air bnb
    via Majestic_Daikon_1494
  • BlueGreen 1956 NTA What goes around comes around. Your mom: "One rule for thee and another for me."
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  • Tipsy-boo ΝΤΑ Its not like they are married so you have every right to make that rule.
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  • Sad-Worldliness5519 I get that your mom is trying to live her life, but it's pretty hypocritical to enforce rules on you and then expect different treatment for herself. Boundaries are important, no matter how old you are. NTA at all!
    via Sad-Worldliness5519
  • NobodySuccessful2661 Honestly, I get both sides, but your mom seems super hypocritical. She had rules for you, but now wants to do what she wants at your house? Stand your ground, it's your home and your comfort matters too.
    via NobodySuccessful2661
  • Opalshinne NTA. It sounds like shes trying to have her cake and eat it too. She imposed a rule on u for years and now expects u to just forget about it when its convenient for her? Nah. Stick to ur guns. If she wants to visit with her bf, they can get separate rooms or she can stay elsewhere.
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  • Goliath BoneSnake "I'm a grown woman and deserve my freedom!" "You're free to sleep somewhere else."
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  • ThrowRA_Last_Empath NTA. Your mum is missing her kids for a reason. If she was nicer and more reasonable you'd have done more to be around her a lot. This is all n her
    via ThrowRA_Last_Empath

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